SELF-ESTEEM AND RELATIONSHIPS

Posted by: Nene Ade / Category:


Do you have days when you feel, sad, depressed, less confident and overwhelmed?  Does the environment around you sometimes feel harsh and unfair?  Often, problems in our relationships, criticism, and rejection can all lower our self-esteem. Occasionally, even the most confident women have days when they do not feel good enough.  Building a strong and lasting self-esteem takes a lot of patience and hard work. A negative body image can also lower our self-confidence. A low self-esteem can usually attract negative people in your life and sometimes we end up finding love in all the wrong places because, we do not feel worthy. A low self esteem can cause behaviors such as; a huge amount of negative self-talk, self-doubt, trying to be a perfectionist, frequently apologizing, and always wanting to get feedback from others. In order to develop positive and healthy relationships in your dating lives or otherwise, you need to be more confident, be you and respect yourself.
          Here are some tips and I hope that they can help you be more positive in society were life is not always a bed of roses.
~ It’s our responsibility to take care of ourselves and develop positive spirits. On days when things aren’t going well for you, take some time to do the things that makes you happy.  Recently I developed a habit of doing the things that bring me joy on bad days. I love to read books, listen to my favorite songs, watch movies and most of all I love to cook. So whether it’s getting a manicure, shopping for shoes,playing video games or trying new colors of eye shadow go for it.
~ Another way to release stress is meditation, exercises like yoga, and taking walks can greatly help in making your day better. This is something I really rarely do but I will love to practice these often. I believe they really help in keeping our mind, body and spirit healthy.
~ Try to shift every negative thought into a positive one. I know this is especially difficult but try to find the positive things in yourself rather than the negative ones. Each day try to give yourself 3 compliments. This will not only help you but it will also help the way you view others.
        Finally treat yourself like a queen or king. Be authentically you and love everything about yourself. Take care of your surroundings; the plates you eat in should beautiful. Little things like your bedroom should be a sanctuary. Eating good and nutritious foods is a plus. I believe food absolutely brings joy and happiness. I’m not saying if you’re obese you should stay that way, it is necessary to be healthy and if there are things about your body you want to change go ahead as long as you don’t loathe your body. Find positive and good ways to make these changes while still being confident. Hopefully you have more happy days and make better relationships with friends, family, coworkers, or dating partners. When we are happy everyone around us tends to be happy. So let’s be contagious with our smile and confidence.


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MINDING YOUR BODY!!!!

Posted by: Nene Ade / Category:



          Today I would love to talk about minding our bodies. Do you sometimes change clothes five times in the morning, because your unsure about what looks right on you? Are there days when you can’t find anything to wear in your closest? This problem actually occurs to me on a regular basis. I believe one of the things we need to do is to examine stereotypes that influence the perception of our bodies.  Though it is quite challenging, we need to make peace with our mirrors by building self-confidence that takes away the negative thoughts which weakens our body image.
            Did you know that beautiful women have the same insecurities as anyone else? There is a small connection between a woman’s attraction and her body image. However, there is a greater relation between body image and self esteem. The better your body image, the stronger your self esteem. Society’s mirror is distorted with stereotypes on how we should look. This mirror ignores personal differences. Each of us is an individual and have different bodies. But this mirror reflects just a small part of the population and makes the rest of the people feel inadequate. Many girls suffer from narcissism and spend hours in front of a mirror in pursuit of a perfect body image. A survey found out that on average a woman gazes a mirror at least 7 times a day. We need to break the bond and move beyond the looking glass.  Please take time to reflect on the following questions:
1)   How many times a day do you check your reflection?
2)    How many mirrors do you carry around in your house, car, and purse?
3)   When you look at a mirror what are you looking for? (Hair, complexion, size…?)
4)   What are you expecting the mirror to tell you?
~Yes I’m pretty as I thought
~No, I’m different from yesterday
~You’re ok stop worrying
~No you’re not ok start worrying
If you look at a mirror excessively, maybe you should make your encounter with your mirror shorter. It is important to be less conscious of your appearance and less critical. Good thoughts are very enriching. We feel better about our bodies if we think better of ourselves.


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Eating Disorders!!!!

Posted by: Nene Ade / Category:



Many women and young girls around the world suffer from eating disorders. Various factors such as the media highly influence these behaviors. Everyday, thousands of commercials are displayed which all have the word “Diet” in them. The truth is how many of these Diets actually work?  Many girls develop overly compulsive food habits such as eating only certain foods. These behaviors usually lead to physical and emotional complications. In a 2007 study published in the American Journal of Health Promotion, 21% of the teenage girls were overweight, 55% said they were dieters, and 35% were consistent dieters.  These teens end up suffering from Anorexia Nervosa (self starvation), Bulimia Nervosa (binge eating followed by vomiting or the use of laxatives), and Obesity.  These Disorders do have great consequences and health risk.
Effects of Anorexia Nervosa:
Women with Anorexia usually have strong fears of gaining weight. They strive for perfection and usually go for days without eating. This disrupts the body’s ability to function normally.  From the National Society of Eating Disorders, these women usually observed the following effects.
~            ~Severe Dehydration, which can lead to kidney Failure.
~             ~Fainting, fatigue and overall weakness.
~        ~Dry hair and skin; hair loss is common.
          ~Reduction in Bone density (osteoporosis), which result in dry, brittle bones.
~        ~Abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, which continue to decrease over time.
These risks are real and women should seek medical attention when going through such disorders.
Effects of Bulimia Nervosa:
Bulimia is also very common among women suffering from eating disorders.  It consist of eating food followed by forced vomiting or the use of laxatives.  This can affect major body organs. Bulimics usually have a normal body weight than anorexics, although they share similar feeling of being overwhelmed with the thought of feeling fat.  From the National Society of Eating Disorders, these women usually observed the following effects.
~       ~Inflammation and possible rupture of the esophagus from constant vomiting.
~       ~Ulcers and pancreatitis.
~    ~Chronic irregular bowel movement and constipation from frequent use of laxatives
Effects of Obesity:
Persistent eating disorders usually lead to obesity. Obesity can affect a woman’s self esteem and body image. While it is important that we love our bodies, we also need to know the risk of being obese. It is necessary to remain along the range of our BMI (Body Mass Index). Possible health risk include:
~        ~High cholesterol levels
~              ~High Blood pressure
~               ~ Heart disease
~  ~ Type II diabetes
When we feel dissatisfied with our bodies, we tend to start chronic dieting and making unhealthy choices. The media needs to start portraying images of real people to promote a positive body Image, as this will greatly reduce eating disorders. If you are obese, there are healthier ways to loose weight like exercising, and making healthy food choices.  It is ok to change your body or loose some weight but do this while loving yourself. Loving yourself is the best way to motivate yourself into changing your body.  If you want to feel more beautiful go for it in a way that gives you love and acceptance.
 References:
www.NationalEatingDisorders.org


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Accept yourself -- Accept your body.

Posted by: Nene Ade / Category:

 Dear readers, I came along this handout from the National Eating Disorder web site and I felt this information will be relevant to my readers. Please answer the following questions and feel free to leave comments about your answers?

• How do you see yourself when you look in the mirror?
• What  do you believe about your own appearance (including your memories and Assumptions
)?
• How do you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight?
• How do you sense and control your body as you move?
People with negative body image have a greater likelihood of developing an eating disorder and are more likely to suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low self-esteem, and obsessions with weight loss.
We all may have our days when we feel awkward or uncomfortable in our bodies, but the key to developing positive body image is to recognize and respect our natural shape and learn to overpower those negative thoughts and feelings with positive, affirming, and accepting ones.

Negative body image is . . .
–            A distorted perception of your shape-- you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are.
–            You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure.
–            You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body.
–            You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.
Positive body image is . . .
+            A clear, true perception of your shape-- you see the various parts of your body as they really are.
+            You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person.
+            You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories.
+            You feel comfortable and confident in your body.
 Celebrate yourself -- Celebrate your body.

www.NationalEating Disorders.org  Information and Referral Helpline 800 931 2237


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